| Message 2 of 58 | ||
| From: | "tejal shah" <tejal_shah@hotmail.com> | |
| To: | twaxma@artic.edu | |
| CC: | ||
| Date: | Fri, 24 Sep 1999 14:13:34 PDT | |
| Subject: | Re: When the wind blows thru my hair | |
My delectable sunshine sushi boy,
My heart skipped a beat when i read that i have a message from twaxma. I
wanted to ignore all other preceeding messages and read yours. There is a
pleasurable torture in making myself wait. So i read, pretended to read,
other mail before reading yours.
So i read your e-mail and then re-read it. I feel dizzy with joy, i want to
run to your class, find you among strangers and kiss you very hard.
Instead I take a print out and decide to walk and read your e-mail again as
it slowly fills me with a wetness that aches for your touch.
I am glad that you are learning director which you have been wanting to so
that it can contribute to your art-making.
I am so glad that you mentioned making a video for the time capsule. The
thought of doing something on those lines has crossed my mind more than
once. Yes, pornographic, romantic, sexual, passionate, explicit ......about
me, about you, about us. Her tongue on my theory has a lot to contribute to
these thoughts of mine. It has sown a seed and what could be more
synchronous than the fact that it is you who brings this book into my life.
I cannot wait to spend time with you on the weekend. I have been looking
forward to it all week, when i don't have to wake up to that morning alarm,
i don't have to think about going to a class, of having to leave without
looking at your face for long enough.....
Would you consider this: I would like to go to the synagogue with you
whenever you go next.
I am filled with a childish excitement at the thought of seeing you in the
evening, of being able to hold you, touch you, talk to you, listen to you...
Your's sincerely,
hard workin' homosexual
tejal
|
> >how are you today > >lets go away somewhere > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >so i am in class and they are reviewing some >things i know already. > >i am thinking of you instead. sometimes i think i must be blushing, >and people must be able to see... its like those dreams about being >suddenly without clothing in an open public space. did you ever have >those dreams? were about to learn director to make interactive >sculptural environments. this is also the program used to animate >those interactive elements in the entrpoy8 site......very exciting. >this is what ive been waiting for~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >lets make a short digital video for the time capsule. >actually ....i think im picturing something pornographic.....about >why we find ourselves in this situation together. romantically i >mean. if thats not 'representation' >i dont know what is. >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >even my sweater misses you > >cashmere will never feel the same > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > >if i could somehow recreate the colour of your lips >i would hurl my computer off the roof >i would become a painter all over again > > >i look forward to sleeping in with you this weekend >if you dont have any other plans > >xyx > >tobaron >* sunshine sushi boy * > > dear tejal > > > > > > > > yes? please please tell me of what happens when the wind blows thru your > > hair, > > > > would that i could be be a humble witness to these > > delicate and beautiful moments in > > nature. i can only dream...( now that yom kippur is over, i can allow > > > > myself to be pleasantly distracted). its very nice to hear from you. > > > > > > > > as for gossip, i'm no longer interested in gossip. thats policy from now > > on. > > > > (there is jewish philosophy motivating me here...) > > > > > > > > time, yes it does have its own terms of existence. i try to respect > > this, and perhaps my > > sleep disorder invites me to do so... > > > > laugh in the face of clocks and spit on the tyranny of time cards! > > > > smash the state sister! > > > > > > > > i am very happy for you to have had this dinner at mona's.(moona's?) > > > > i still hope that we can all go out for indian food somewhere. and > > (sigh)ethioipian...its > > not the same as eating in someones home, of course, but there is > > something alienating > > about eating > > > > in the dining hall all the time, such impersonal menus, somehow. > > > > i am trying to negotiate this for myself, without making a spectacle of > > myself while > > deviating from the homogenous. > > > > > > > > we just broke the fast. sooooooo much food! and desserts ohmy god. > > > > i wish i could bring some "home". |
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| 2 of 58 | |
| From: | "tejal shah" <tejal_shah@hotmail.com> |
| To: | twaxma@artic.edu |
| Date: | Sun, 19 Mar 2000 06:14:07 GMT |
| Subject: | Re: love letter to a love letter to a....ilu ka matlab i love you |
maybeoverthesephonelines
wedoreadtogether
maybewewilldothisoverandover
againandagain
readtogether
perhapsaprocesspeicehasbegun
oh!the phone is busy because we are reading together. please do go to the
green house party. spank chandra on my behalf. a gentleman like you ought to
win a gentleman's bet.
i read this e-mail out loud to myself, very fast and loud. my throat feels
very dry. i have decided not to sleep tonite and i don't think i have left
the house in the last 24 hours. hopefully in the morning i can ride your
bike home.
c o u l d w e m e a s u r e t i m e i n u n i t s s u c h a s t h e o c c a
s s i o n s w h e n w e e a t a b l o o d o r a n g e t o g e t h e r. when
you pick up the fruit and hold it against the light so that we can see
and moments like this i feel we can be silent in order to appreciate
for in our silence we are saying but can you see, can you
really see?
and i want to say so eagerly yes, i can see not only the beauty
of this fruiiiiit and the flames in each of it's cells but also that you
have just shared.
tejal
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> such > > > Is distance when the fingures should be running > > when the fingures should be running >running > >through your hair, in in innnnnnnn in ssssssssttttttt > ead they are pushing > > pushing > pushing > > >Buttons on the key board when you come > > >Back i want to have you all > |
> >To myselfish self. >i wanna lick you like you >i wanna lick you like you > like you were > > >My ice cream.......drink you > > >up like you >up like you > like you were those drops > > > >Were those drops of water i needed so desperately to survive > > **************************** > >hello > >i am trying to call you but the line is busy :( >i think i will go out to see jin's money house show. Chandra has a piece in >it. >i miss you >at the wedding tonight there were at least 6 butch dykes, some with women >dates >i made a gentleman's bet with my brother that one of them was a woman--i >won > >********************************** > >your letter is very beautiful. thank you very much for this beautiful gift. >can we read this together >you over there >me from over here >i feel very close when i read this letter >are we reading this together >i feel that we are. > >************************************ > >........i wanna roll around with > > you on a little furry patch.......sit with you for endless hours under >the > > shinning sun.....hold your hand as we walk along the streets.....look up >and > > suddenly be surpriesd to see the moon in the sky....snuggle up with you > > comfortably and fall asleep in the warmth of your embrace....i want to >lick > > your honey cunt till i am so drunk on your nector that my head feels > > dizzy....i do want to feel your wet desire all over me.....i do want to >walk > > around for days with this desire lingering on my fingures, in my >head,the > > underside of my toes, inside my ears.......i want to loose my balance >and > > fall in the bottomless pit of your being.......i want to wake up to your > > sleeping face......i want to run my fingures over and over your eyebrows >so > > that i can see just this one last time how your little eyebrow hair > > obediently stay where they are made to.....i want to be within earshot > > everytime you yawn..... > >me too. > >We roll >and sit, shining. >You hold my walk.... >!to be surprised by everything. >I see to snuggle >and fallasleep >to the lick and feel >of a walk lingering. >I could lose my balance, fall >or even wake up sleeping >but with you I run and stay to be >************************************ > > > ....suchismyoverwhelmingdesireforyoutoday... > > yoursonlytejal |
| ----Original Message Follows---- From: "Tobaron Waxman" <tobaron@hotmail.com> To: tejal_shah@hotmail.com Subject: Re: read with caution Date: Mon, 07 Aug 2000 10:26:11 EST just a quick note, as i have to leave for c.f. you are right. this is all very difficult and strange. im truly sorry that ive made it even more difficult. im sorry if ive been insensitive. i know you have a lot to do now, not including coping with your new environs. please take care of your heart during all of these peregrinations...i am thinking of you. i want to take care of you, so it is up to me to learn new ways to be close to you. see you soon (im even problematised by concluding an email) i love you ----Original Message Follows---- From: "tejal shah" <tejal_shah@hotmail.com> To: tobaron@hotmail.com Subject: read with caution Date: Mon, 07 Aug 2000 06:49:04 GMT dear tobaron, hi! we spoke on the phone today for a long time. i always enjoy talking to you. there is something that is bothering me though and i must write to you about it. it's this whole new non-monogamous relationship thing that's taking a toll on me. i am finding it hard to negociate non-monogamy with someone that i am deeply in love with. i think i am terribly traditional and not ashamed of that. at this moment at least. so, right now i don't feel that i am dealing with it very easily. i asked you about S. today. i asked because i wanted to know, to a certain depth what was happening in your life. but you see now it's tugging at me. i can't stop thinking about you with another person. it hurts me even though i know and completely believe that we are each others primaries at this moment. i feel pulled between wnating to know and not wanting to know too much. theoretically i have a diff opinion but then what's theory without practise at least in my own personal life? so, here i am requesting that i don't want to know any more details about your flings unless i ask you. you can tell me about any new flings etc infact, i insist that you tell me about them, at least mention them but i am afraid it is still too soon for me. i am still getting over some basic facts of life without your physical presence. |
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